Fuck you. Why can't you be like our other roommate? Your laptop is ALWAYS on and it's ALWAYS playing a sports cast of some sort. And if your laptop is on, so it your tv, which is on ESPN. Do you REALLY need to watch two different sports casts at the same time? Even when your tv is off you still listen to your sportscast on your laptop. Sure, that's not so bad. But why the fuck did you spend $150 on headphones just to never fucking use them? I don't have a problem with you watching tv at 11 at night. I'm still up. I don't even have a problem with you watching it at midnight, because I'm usually still up. But when it's 2 in the fucking morning, it is COMPLETELY unacceptable to turn that fucking thing on when it's clear that your other roommates are trying to sleep. We're both in bed. We're not on our computers.
HAVE SOME FUCKING RESPECT AND SHUT THAT SHIT OFF. It's not even the fact that it's on is so bad. It's that you listen to it as if you lost your fucking hearing aid.

Then there's your showers. I understand that a man has needs. I understand that when you're fat and ugly and you live in the barracks the only way of satisfying those needs is to relieve yourself in the shower. But do you have to do it every single time you take a shower? I don't even know if that's what you do when your in there, but what the fuck else could you POSSIBLY be doing during your 30+ minute showers. Yes, I timed you, because it happens every day. You DO realize that you have two other roommates that like to stay hydrated, right? We don't want to have to wait for 15 minutes to piss because you take longer showers than should be allowed by law.

Oh, and pick up your damn feet. We don't want to hear you drag them in your shower shoes making all that damn noise.

Sincerely,

Your pissed off roommate.


P.S. I'm going to give you about five more minutes to shut that fucking thing off before I throw it out the window. It's 2:45 in the morning.



[Edit]
It was three in the morning and I asked him "You going to bed soon?" to which he replied "nope" WTF!?

Oh, and let it be known that even with the sound down, the light from the tv is still flooding the room. Keep in mind that I live in the barracks, so it's three guys in a 12x12 room.

And your "really cool" sunglasses that you wear indoors. At a fucking museum.

I'm in D.C. for the weekend and I went to the National Holocaust museum. As I was taking my time and reading the signs and watching the videos, a bunch of museum personnel came up and told us that we had to clear the area. We did, not knowing what the hell was going on. As we were off to the side, I asked if there was a VIP coming through and he said that there was. So we're all off to the side and then enters Sir Douche. With his really cool hairdo wearing sunglasses in the dimly lit exhibit. So then King Bag leaves the area and us lesser citizens are allowed to continue our tour. As I get in the middle of watching the next video, we're herded out into the area that we were previously kicked out of, because Mr. Asshat wants to look through where we were. He then moves on again, and everyone is ready to get out of the area. But no. The one and only exit is blocked and there are easily 50+ people there waiting to get out. Then the pompous asshole walks by, shoots a smug little fucking smile and waves with an air of nonchalance, to which I loudly responded "Don't you wave at me!" Everyone around looked a little shocked that I would yell at a precious celebrity, but as soon as the fucker walked off they resumed talking trash about him and airing their grievances to all that would listen to how bullshit the whole ordeal was. I walked up to the guy blocking us, and asked if he was museum personnel, and he told me that he was, but 1) I've never seen museum personnel wear an ear piece a la Secret Service, 2)He was wearing black when everyone else was wearing red, and he had no badge or name tag. I think the fucker lied to me and he was actually Cruises much needed body guard. A woman made a very good point. She said "We just spent the last three hours learning how bad it is to treat people like they are first or second class citizens, and here they are doing it to us."

Fuckdouche was no where near us, and yet they still wouldn't let us out, so myself and a Vietnam vet berated the man to let the crowd out. He finally backed off and let us out. Then at the very end they had a comment book that I was writing in and no sooner had I finished writing in it, another guy came up and told us to clear out. I never got a chance to go into the museum shop.
I wish I had wanted to, because I would have told the fucker that Tom Cruise can wait, I'm going into the store.


Fuck you, Tom Cruise.

Well, I've been at Camp Lejeune for two weeks now living in a shitty squad bay wondering where the hell I'll be going and what I'll be doing.

I had figured I'd end up in Afghanistan with a firing artillery battery, because the combat environment is heating up there. But that means I have to TOTALLY relearn my job. Since I've gotten out, the Marine Corps has switched to a totally new howitzer, the M777 that is a world apart from the old M198, the cannon I worked with.

However, the Marine Corps had different things in mind for me.
Come to find out, I will be attached to the Personal Security Detachment of Regimental Combat Team 8. In simple terms, I will be a body guard for some Colonel or General.

From what I hear, it's a really cool assignment. Supposedly I get to pick out all my gun candy and get whatever I want. PEQ-15 laser/inrared sights? Scope? bipod? Whatever I want. I get picked up by the unit tomorrow and should find out a LOT more about my duties and deployment schedule in the upcoming days.


P.S. - Thanks for all the kind words in my last blog post!