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posted by eric3579 1 year 11 months 1 week ago • 689 views

Courtroom Testimony

These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.


ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.


ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.


ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.


ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?


ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.


ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?


ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?


ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh...


ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?


ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?


ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.


ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.


ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!


ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?


ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

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posted by eric3579 1 year 11 months 1 week ago • 902 views

Each state and D.C. has been colored to represent its most recent straw poll winner. These polls, however, may not be representative of the entire state since many are smaller, local straw polls, and some are several months old.

1. Ron Paul (17)

2. Mitt Romney (9)

3. Fred Thompson (7)

4. Rudy Giuliani, Mike Huckabee (2)

6. Duncan Hunter, John McCain (1)

8. Alan Keyes, Tom Tancredo (0)

 

STRAW POLLS

   head-to-head

Records of wins, losses, and ties grouped by the Condorcet method.

1. Paul beats Giuliani 42-27, Huckabee 43-20-5, Hunter 40-13-3, Keyes 5-0, McCain 41-21-4, Tancredo 39-11-2, Thompson 33-30-1 (7 wins)

1. Romney beats Giuliani 52-35-3, Huckabee 65-13-5, Hunter 58-6-2, Keyes 5-1, McCain 72-13-2, Paul 36-32-1, Tancredo 56-2-2 (7 wins)

1. Thompson beats Giuliani 48-26-3, Huckabee 52-19, Hunter 46-13-1, Keyes 4-1, McCain 57-18, Romney 41-33-2, Tancredo 45-5-2 (7 wins)

4. Giuliani beats Huckabee 59-21-2, Hunter 49-15-2, Keyes 5-1, McCain 66-20-1, Tancredo 50-8-2 (5 wins)

5. Huckabee beats Hunter 46-17-1, Keyes 4-1-1, McCain 41-36-3, Tancredo 44-9-6 (4 wins)

6. McCain beats Hunter 34-25-5, Keyes 3-2-1, Tancredo 45-11-3 (3 wins)

7. Hunter beats Keyes 3-1, Tancredo 33-11-10 (2 wins)

8. Tancredo beats Keyes 3-2 (1 win)

9. Keyes beats none (0 wins)

 

 

Total wins

Total number of first-place finishes.

1. Paul (30)

2. Thompson (24)

3. Romney (23)

4. Giuliani, McCain (6)

6. Huckabee (3)

7. Hunter (2)

8. Tancredo (1)

9. Keyes (0)

 


 

Olympic ratings

Top 3 finishes with 3 points for win, 2 for place, 1 for show.

1. Romney 23-19-18 (125)

2. Thompson 24-18-9 (117)

3. Paul 30-9-6 (114)

4. Giuliani 6-27-21 (93)

5. McCain 6-8-8 (42)

6. Huckabee 3-8-9 (34)

7. Hunter 2-2-6 (16)

8. Tancredo 1-0-2 (5)

9. Keyes 0-0-1 (1)

 

 

NASCAR ratings

100 for win, 98 for place, 96 for show, etc., 0 if absent. This rating gives a high weight to total poll presences.

Among 4 polls with no absences: Paul 398, Huckabee 378 (tie), Thompson 378 (tie), Romney 368, Giuliani 362, Hunter 354, Tancredo 348, Keyes 346, McCain 342.

Among 45 polls with up to 1 absent: Romney 4324, Thompson 4288, Paul 4242, Giuliani 4234, Huckabee 4130, McCain 4022, Hunter 3990, Tancredo 3872, Keyes 346.

Among 62 polls with up to 2 absent: Romney 5962, Giuliani 5866, Huckabee 5676, Thompson 5622, McCain 5484, Paul 5450, Hunter 5254, Tancredo 4768, Keyes 424.

 


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posted by eric3579 1 year 11 months 2 weeks ago • 871 views

Artist: ImaMonster

 

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posted by eric3579 1 year 11 months 3 weeks ago • 821 views

    Perspective - An art installation from Burning Man 2007. The letter "A" is six inches tall. The "E" is ten feet tall. This led me to a question, I was hoping someone could answer. 

If "A" is six inches tall and 10 feet from the camera,and "E" is ten feet tall, how far away do you place"E" to make the letters appear to be the same size from the cameras perspective?

 

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